a bottle of beer and a stick of cigar aLmost Lead us to tagaytay..ALL ABOUT WOMEN

A serious taLk with my girL friend.

 it’s ALL ABOUT WOMEN..

 UNDERSTANDING GIRL’S PAIN

my friend and i decided to go out yesterday since it was saturday, i was absent because of my tootache but i went out with my friend despite of my infLamed gums and my tootache because i know she needs me and i need her. we were chatting yesterday and found out that both of us were brokenhearted girLs who shouLd enjoy Life and get some peace of mind so we decided to have fun.

 i haven’t eaten my Lunch and so we had Lunch somewhere in MOA, my tooth was aching but i don’t want to make it obvious so i ate a Lot even though i can’t..We taLked and opened up about our  pain, her man Left her hanging, without cLosure.. whiLe me? not reaLLy brokenhearted but i just decided to have fun and forget the past. i decided to think about myseLf this time so i temporariLy stopped my communication with someone.

Then we decided to watch a movie about women, and every woman can reLate to it’s story and the movie was fun, it’LL teach you how to get back to your Life after being cheated by a man, it’s about career, friendship, motherhood and a Lot more.

and because we were so affected by the movie, we  decided to drink. haha, and i smoked. weLL, i stopped smoking aLready, i’m onLy smoking when someone wants me to smoke with them, haha and if i’m drinking starbucks coffee because for me nicotine and caffeine are just perfect for each other. LoLx

so we went to a bar and we were just so Lucky because there was a fireworks dispLay in MOA yesterday and our Location was just perfect. The fireworks dispLay is right in front of us, feLt Like i can touch and hoLd it..so we were watching whiLe drinking, the fireworks are just great and it was reaLLy beautifuL, whiLe Looking at those coLorfuL fireworks i reaLized how wonderfuL Life is and thought on how i can make my Life more wonderfuL but it suddenLy fades reminding me that  Life is NOT ALWAYS that coLorfuL  but stiLL you have to SMILE for it.

Then my friend said, 

“aLam ko na LaLagay ko sa bLog ko (we’re both bLoggers, hehe) cocompare ko ang Love sa fireworks..ba-bLog ko taLaga to..sabihin ko, ang pagibig parang fireworks..sa umpisa exciting, masaya..sobra. maganda.. pero magLaLaho din..”

we were Like crazy, we were both quiet and then we started taLking to ourseLves, we both have different probLems and so we were exchanging opinions about each other.

sah: “di man Lang ba nya ko naisip?? kung sakaLing aask ako ni ___(guy1) kung gagawin nya ko gf, di ako papayag kasi iniisip ko xa(guy2) kasi iniisip ko ang kaLagayan nya. di man Lang ba nya naisip na iLang beses ko pinag isipan kung itetext ko xa o hndi, tapos nung tinext ko xa, sasabihin Lang nya matutuLog na xa??? anung kLase un? sabi nga sa movie diba, “what about me??” kahit pano we have to be seLfish din..kasi ikaw, ako.. Lagi natin iniisip, panu siLa? panu yung nararamdaman niLa?? pero siLa?? naiisip ba niLa kung anu nararamdaman natin? naiisip ba niLa kung anung epekto ang ginawa niLa sa buhay natin?? masaya naman ako dati eh, di ako naghahanap ng LaLaki, at di ko rin gusto magka bf, pero dumating xa at ginuLo ang buhay ko..naiisip ba nya nararamdaman ko ngaun? hindi siguro..waLa xang aLam.. WALA SILANG ALAM SA NARARAMDAMAN NATIN.. at bakit di nya sinagot ang tanong ko?? tinanong ko kung gagawin ba nya ang promises nya dahiL nkapag promise xa or dahiL gusto nyang gawin?? tapos di nya sasagutin tapos sabay matutuLog xa?? di ba nya naiisip yung ginagawa nya??, nung una ok kami tapos bigLa na Lang may ibang babae jan na makikita ko na kasa kasama nya??, hndi ba nya naisip, na pano na ko?? pano na si sah?”

me: “hhaayyss.. uu nga, ako? inisip din ba nya ko? inisip ba nya yung mga ginagawa nya? anu gusto nya hndi ako makapag move on? hndi na kami, hndi ko na xa boyfriend pero  bakit ganun, bakit parang sa ginagawa nya bakit parang kami pa rin?? pag maLungkot xa gusto nya Lagi ako andyan para sknya.. pero panu pag masaya na xa?? waLa na ko??anu ba ko sakanya?? taga saLo? di nya ba aLam kung gano kasakit yung mga ginagawa nya sakin?? i have so many questions but i can’t find an answer and i guess he doesn’t want to answer that..anu ba taLaga ko? why does he have to do things for me that he shouLdn’t be doing??? ang dami tuLoy nag aakaLa na kami pa, sabi nya sakin before ipakiLaLa ko daw xa sa mga opism8s ko at pag may gaLa daw ako or gimik with my officemates sama ko din xa, he said that 2 or 3months after we broke up, naisip ko.. bakit? for what.. pero hinyaan ko Lang kasi i want to maintain our friendship at kapag may gaLa xa with his officemates niyayaya nya din ako, at di naputoL ang communication namin simuLa nag break kami, so how can we both move on? how can i move on??, nung una ok pa pero habang tumatagaL naiisip ko, how can i totaLLy move on sa mga ginagawa nya?? sinabi pa nya na ginawa nyang waLLpaper ng fone nya ang picture namin, for what?? bakit? yeah Let’s say because we’re friends or  we became kinda “bestfriend” after we broke up pero hindi pa rin dapat eh..now i want to be seLfish and think about myseLf, panu naman ako? panu naman ang nararamdaman ko?? Lagi ko na Lang ba iisipin ang nararamdaman nya?? na maLungkot xa and everything kaya dapat Lang na hindi ko xa iwan?? pero panu naman ang nararamdaman ko?? PANO NAMAN PAG MALUNGKOT AKO?? PANO NAMAN PAG NASASAKTAN AKO??? kaya iniwasan ko muna xa, at sinabi ko naman sknya, ewan ko Lang kung gaLit xa sakin, sabi naman nya hndi.. pero sana nga hindi.. kasi i stiLL want to maintain our friendship, gusto ko sa ngaun Lang muna. backoff muna ko..

for the first time, i Learned to think about myseLf.. i’m aLways thinking about others, about my friends, famiLy, my speciaL someone, but i never consider my feeLings..kaya kahit super sakit na, i tried to LAUGH at everything.. because i stiLL and wiLL aLways Look at the bright side of everything.. and that’s what i Love about myseLf. that’s what i Love about “us” girLs, we can smiLe and pretend as a happy bitch even though we’re not.

*sigh..*

and so we had the most fun idea whiLe we were taLking, we wanted to shout and cry our hearts out, we wanted to go crazy..we wanna have the best fun ever whiLe ceLebrating our heart’s pain.. so we decided to go to tagaytay at 8pm. haha, we were reaLLy excited about going to tagaytay, we were getting ready aLready, sah stiLL has work so she just caLLed her office to ask permission unfortunateLy, she was 15-min Late, because the mangement’s ruLe is to caLL 2hrs before caLL time and her caLL time is 10pm and it was aLready 8:15..

sayang pero ok Lang, we stiLL have next time.. aLthough we were thinking kung gano ka saya kung matutuLoy ang spontaneous trip to tagaytay na yun. we were thinking that it’s gonna be a Lot of fun.. and i even thought about the song where do broken hearts go?? my answer is TO TAGAYTAY. haha. LoLx

BROKEN HEARTS WENT TO TAGAYTAY or BROKENHEARTED GIRLS JOURNEY TO TAGAYTAY.

that might have been a great titLe for my post. but it didn’t happen. oh weLL..

So what we just did is continue taLking and drinking.. peopLe have no idea on how much pain we have that day. girLs are just great pretenders.

we stopped taLking about our pain, and started taLking about women. how difficuLt it is for us to understand men and how difficuLt it is for men to understand women.  i guess men and women won’t reaLLy get aLong that weLL that’s why there’s so many same sex reLationship. wehe.. LoLx

nyweiz.

 some girLs are great pretenders just Like what i said, they make their Lives miserabLe and stiLL Look Like they’re doing just fine. but they’re not. GIRLS BECOME BITCHES NOT BECAUSE THEY ARE BITCHES BUT BECAUSE, DEEP INSIDE THEY’RE HURTING. AND GUYS HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT IT. even 0.0000001% of idea. SOME BECOME WILD and DO SOME SHAMEFUL ACTS WHILE SUFFERING INSIDE, those are weak girLs.. too weak to handLe pain. i’m just gLad that i’m not one of those girLs but I DO UNDERSTAND GIRLS LIKE THEM and GUYS DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO JUDGE THOSE GIRLS AND TO SAY MEAN THINGS ABOUT THEM BECAUSE GUYS HAVE NO IDEA.

and just Like what i aLways say, caLL me hypocrite or anything but i reaLLy don’t need a man in my Life, just Like my friend. both of us don’t go gaga over guys but we just faLL inLove and it’s not our fauLt to faLL inLove, it just happens and we’re ok, we’re perfectLy fine untiL those guys started hurting us. and it just ruins everything. IN THE FIRST PLACE, WE NEVER ASKED GUYS TO LOVE US. WE NEVER ASKED YOU TO ASK US IF WE COULD BE YOUR GF.

for me, MEN  are just bonuses in our Lives. i remember what sarah jessica parker said in one of the episodes of sex and the city.

“maybe..just maybe..our friends are our souLmates and there are just great nice guys that we wiLL meet and have fun with”

it’s not that i’m a man hater or bitter or someone who is afraid to Love. I simpLy don’t care. I’m different, I’m a type of girL or person who just doesn’t care about guys, but i do faLL in Love, and when i Love. it is REALLY LOVE and i become the most seLfLess person you couLd ever know when i’m inLove. but that’s onLy when i’m inLove, but if i’m not.. i simpLy don’t care.. hehe, i aLso don’t Look for “cute” or “pretty” guys. i  faLL for someone who couLd make me Laugh and couLd make me cry at the same time.

so to aLL the Ladies out there who are stiLL hurting, why not try to think about yourseLf first? stop being a martyr, haha. yeah it’s easy to say than to do it. it’LL take time but just think about it. over and over again. trust me, you’LL feeL better. hehe. i may Look so immature and i act chiLidish, yeah super.. but when it comes to serious taLk, i think i can be mature. weLL, i guess i become one. haha. daig ko pa ata si rizaL sa pagiging martyr, kung baga, iLang beses na kong nabariL sa Luneta. pero tumatayo pa rin ako. hehe.LoLx

so i onLy have few words for US, GIRLS..

WE’RE GIRLS AND WE ROCK. ^_^

SORRY GUYS. haha. it’s just my opinion. i guess there’s nothing wrong to say what i feeL here. IT’s MY BLOG ANYWEIZ. heheheh 

so after drinking, my friend and i got hungry and Looked for a pLace to eat, our feet brought us to HAP CHAN in makati ave, and fiLLed our empty stomach and our empty hearts with a Lot of food.

got home at 1am. hehe

i think, my post is so emotionaL, haha. weLL, what can you expect?? i am a girL, hehe. girLs are just emotionaL..especiaLLy when they are hurting.. =P

i wanted everyone eLse to be Like me..

i didn’t know nor reaLized how it started but i just feLt it before, maybe i was too proud of myseLf or i Love myseLf so much that i think of myseLf as a ROLE MODEL or a good exampLe for peopLe, for some peopLe..atLeast!?! (haha, that’s funny ) i think i was too confident that i’m a good person?? and i beLieve that i haven’t done anything that can harm or hurt other peopLe that’s why i’m confident and whenever my sister and i had a fight i aLways teLL her how mean she is and how good i am to deserve aLL her deviLish acts.

anyweiz.

i am no perfect i  have fLaws and i am not aLways good. (i know it) but i just want to share this to aLL of you guys, because i just finished watching THE BUZZ and Boy Abunda said that he wanted his sister and his niece to be just Like him, and he reaLizes that he is not his sister, they are 2 different person and he can never asked or dictate someone to be Like him..then i remember how Boy and i are aLike

I wanted my friends to be Like me, weLL, atLeast..some of them, i want them to be Like me in some ways, Like for exampLe, thinking about others first before doing something.. my motto has aLways been Like this,

“it’s aLways better to get hurt than hurt someone..”

i aLways make sure that in everything i do, i don’t hurt or step on someone..and i’LL do my best not to hurt someone but not aLL peopLe are Like that because some peopLe just Lose their minds ( i didn’t mean crazy or what ) when they’re happy OR tend to forget other peopLe OR they may think of other peopLe but stiLL continue what they’re doing even if they know that it’s not right..especiaLLy when it comes to LOVE.

Some of my friends/officemates/acquaintances/famiLy have aLso characteristics that i don’t understand and, I GUESS, i wiLL never understand. I never toLd them to change nor even asked them and i haven’t opened up to some of my friends, but i reaLLy do want them to change and i don’t know how I can do it, as what reaLity is, you can never change someone UNLESS they want to.

I guess I was just thinking too much, and right now, i don’t think of that anymore..i guess, I have changed a Lot, if i can make a difference, it wiLL just naturaLLy come out.. without even thinking of it and reaLizing it, sooner or Later it wiLL just come to other peopLe’s senses, that i have made a difference in their Lives.

Now, i’LL just work things out with myseLf, because I am so compLicated and just Live naturaLLy and i’LL do everything to make others reaLize what they’re doing and make them see Life’s imperfections and be happy about it and make them want to change, not by teLLing them but by inspiring them through my actions..

ggrr..

i really hate thos assholes, waaahhh.. i just post here that i’m mad about people who are making fun of others, but damn!! they are really unstoppable, they took a picture of our officemate and edited it in photoshop, and put her face in a pig’s body, and also put her face in an electric fan..damn those assholes!!!!!!!! they were even caLLing her LiLet-sunin..tsktsk..

die!!!

happy-ness…

i am somehow happy..how and why? don’t know..hahaha..despite of stressful days and work..and problems here in office…still, i am happy.. 

i’ll share some quotes that i read in someone’s blog..

^_^

and another one..

thoughts that i just want to think of. hehe

lately, i’ve been thinking about different stuffs going on around me, but then, i just realized what i just read in a text msg.. too much thinking can lead to insanity, haha, maybe that’s what makes me sooooo stressed.. i think too much everyday, and my  mind wants to think about anything everytime i have nothing to do..i think about people, i think about my dreams..i day dream, and most of the time, i feel like crazy talking to myself and speaking..i don’t know why, that’s why i also love to blog and talk to other people in some forum..because there are lots of things going on in my mind.. it doesn’t stop and i have lots of point of view that i want to share.. and sometimes, i just don’t want to think alone, feeling pathetic and crazy that’s why i write..

i hate when people talk about me, behind my back and then approach me and be nice to me, backstabbers, or let’s say, not really, but kinda.. haha. you know, when some people make fun of you because of how you look and how you present yourself, they laugh at you..behind your back, then when you approach them, they’re nice, not because they want to be nice but they’re just nice, it’s just that..they’re making fun of you.. get my point?!

i don’t know if someone is doing that to me, but if ever, damn! i would really be sad.. but i know people who are like that, the least i can do is to tell them how mean they are and what they’re doing is bad..because i’m not really a type of person who is “pintasera” or someone who Loves making fun of people because of how they look.. for me it’s just bad..

if you don’t like them, then don’t mind them! why bother looking at them then laugh !?! sometimes, it hurts me.. it’s just not right..at least most of the people i know, tell me that i’m ugly..in my face! hahaha.. that would be better rather than making fun of me behind my back.. hehehe, i know i’m not as pretty as those girls in magazines that men fantasize, even a lot of people are telling me how ugly i am, so be it.. i know i’m ugly!

i don’t have a small and pointed nose just like any hollywood artists..

i don’t have the smile like julia roberts or cameron diaz

my butt and my body is not as bootylicious and curvaceous as of those of j.lo and beyonce

but i have lived with it, and still living with it..and if i can live with that, why can’t others just live with it!?!

i’ll be here for a long time..so live with it.. heheh

i know i’m ugly but i don’t and never felt ugly.. except when that someone is pulling me down and really can’t stop telling me how ugly i am…

but really, i don’t feel ugly..i love myself.. haha.. isn’t that confusing, i know i’m ugly and yet i don’t feel ugly? wahaha.. anyweiz that’s what i feel.. so just live with it! hehehe