December 2010
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Manda Orti

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"hi, feel free to criticize me. it'll be much better if you correct my grammar than laugh at my use of words because i am a writer in progress so sorry for the inconvenience ;)"

-- Manda Orti

Heart of Christmas

December 26, 2010

Merry Christmas Everyone!!

 

My wish did not come true. My only wish this christmas is to do some volunteer work by giving gifts to street children or do any volunteer work for children. I guess I was too busy thinking about stuffs that I should not think or let’s say, worthless stuff! haha

 

Oh well, I still have a lot of time and I know sooner or later it will happen. It’s not like it only happens every christmas! There’s always a cause and there’s a lot of non-profit organization that are helping children! :)

 

I really don’t know the meaning of christmas. I know that it’s jesus’ bday but I don’t know. I never had a memorable christmas or a happy christmas as far as I remember. Since I started college, we never really had a family bonding and that’s why christmas is the most ordinary day for me since then, since I stopped receiving gifts and since my family stopped eating together every christmas.

 

I don’t want to stay at home every christmas, it makes me feel lonely. I’mhappy because i give gifts to my nephews/nieces/godchildren and everyone is happy but after that gift giving and seeing those children’s happy faces, there’s always this emptiness/loneliness inside me. Christmas is just for children and happy family but i don’t think it’s for me.

 

Every christmas season, let’s say every dec23-jan2, those whole 2 weeks, I don’t want to stay at home. 4 yrs ago, I spent my christmas day at my college friend’s house. After a year, I spent my christmas at home because my dad was sick and so we did not celebrate christmas. 2 yrs ago although I spent my Christmas Day at home, but after that I was in Baguio, spending time with my friends. A year ago, I was at my ex’s house and then went to my former officemate’s house. Now, I’m here at home again with nothing, just my mom txting and me in front of my pc.

 

Life, sometimes is kinda boring but I just have to deal with it. If christmas is not for me then so be it. The Heart of Christmas is not about me, after all, Christmas is for everyone especially for children. :) It is spreading love! :)

 

I just hope to spend my next christmas, helping children! :)

 

Merry Christmas Again, Everyone! :)

Posted by heartsmindsandhands at 6:34 am | permalink | Add comment