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"hi, feel free to criticize me. it'll be much better if you correct my grammar than laugh at my use of words because i am a writer in progress so sorry for the inconvenience ;)"

-- Manda Orti

Lost soul

June 10, 2010

it’s been a while, i miss blogging. i miss writing. i miss a lot of things. i even miss crying.

 

I wanted to cry a long time ago, but i can’t i don’t know why but i just can’t  cry. I want to cry because of a lot of reasons. My soul is lost right now, I may sound too emotional but no one knows what I really feel. I’ts just hard when you have no one else to talk to aside from your blogs because you are protecting yourself from all the possible heart aches and pains if you choose to open up your heart.

 

Have you ever felt that you are alone? Because I feel alone right now, I know I am not perfect, I have sins and I have plenty of it, I make mistakes and sometimes I really make a lot of it but just maybe, maybe I am feeling this way because I have made the greatest mistake and sin of my life. Something I thought I would never do, something I thought too impossible for me to do but I did it and it hurts a lot. It hurts because I hurt someone. It hurts because I lied. It hurts because I fooled a lot of people. It hurts because I promise myself not to hurt anyone. It hurts because my motto is “its better to get hurt than to hurt someone” and most of all it hurts because it just hurts. T_T

 

And now I’m hurting because I can’t let everything out, all these feelings. I can’t let it out and it’s killing me already. I am not free. I’m a prisoner of myself.

 

I AM LOST

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