what a girl wants. reality mishaps

I arrived late at the office because I was expecting a day with few tasks and I was right. Only few tasks came in and after net surfing and reading blogs from different people I decided to write my own, hahaha. I guess, one blogger inspired me to write about something about US… GIRLS.

After having a long journey of 22 years in life, and falling in love with some guys and getting hurt. I have come to realized that almost all girls have same needs, emotionally. And now, I have learned what I want and what I need but there are just things in life that WE CAN  NEVER HAVE. I will list down the things that I want  that I think most of us(men/women) also need.

 I want to be or be the..

1.) PRIORITY - all or at least almost all girls want to be their lover’s top priority unfortunately it’s not gonna happen, it will never happen, UNLESS your guy is one of a kind. We cannot demand. We cannot ask.   

2.) QUEEN/PRINCESS - we all want to be someone’s princess/queen of course by our prince charming. We want to be pampered. We want to feel loved, secured and being taken cared of. We want our man to treat us the way we want to be treated. We want them to ALWAYS assure us how they love us, if they can shout out to the world how much they love us then they should do it. To those girls who love material things, they want to their man to give them accessories, jewelries, or anything while those girls who only want their partner’s affection, they want to be showered with love. We want them to bring us to a place called paradise.

(**NOTE**: but not too much of course)

  unfortunately, only a few man can do it. Some are just plain guys who love to chill and relax, while other guys are so shy they can’t even tell the girls what they feel and while some guys show rudeness and coldness to their gf/wife despite of their feelings, no matter how much they love them. They can’t give or show any affection just because they can’t show it or sometimes, they just don’t want to show it. That’s how it is, we cannot demand. We cannot ask.

3.) PRIEST - maybe you’re asking why priest? Oh well, I mean.. a priest in a confession room. Haha. We want our guys to confess to us everything they did, every lies, every sin, every mistakes. We want them to be totally honest with us even if it will hurt us, that’s the sad part. We want them to be honest yet after confessing their sins we’re going to cry and get mad at them but we still want them to be honest despite of how it will affect us, right?!.

  unfortunately, THEY CAN NEVER BE TOO HONEST.

We cannot demand. We cannot ask.

4.) PARTNER IN CRIME - almost all of us want to be our partners’ partner in crime. Some of us love adventures and most of us dream of going in different places and doing new things. We want our guy to be with us while we’re making the best adventures of our lives and we want to be with them when they are happy, when they are sad, when they want some fun, when they want to act crazy and freak and when they just want to sit and relax. We want them to date us or ask us to go to anywhere under the sun.

  unfortunately, not everyone wants the same adventure that you dream of. Some are not into dating, some doesn’t have enough money for a date while some prefer to be with their friends in their adventures than being with their gf/bf. We cannot demand. We cannot ask.

(*NOTE: thanks to my teammate for helping me with this, it’s also one of her dreams. haha)

5.) APPRECIATED - who doesn’t want to? right!?! Each and everyone of us wants to be appreciated. We want to feel that we’re valued by our special someone. We want to hear and feel that they know how much we love them and that they appreciate every little things that we do for them. We want to hear “thank you” once in a while. We also want them to support us and be proud of us whenever we do things that make us proud of ourselves. We want them to see how good we are. unfortunately, not everyone can appreciate you, sometimes they will ignore you, sometimes they will say “you’re so great” in a sarcastic way and they will say thank you, once in a blue moon. Some men, will appreciate you without showing it, if you give them something they’ll say, ok. Sometimes they’ll ask “what’s this?”, then you’ll answer him, “gift from me..??”, then he’ll say.. “uuhhh.. ok”. For him, that’s his way of saying thank you, but still it doesn’t show. While some men don’t appreciate anything and everything you do is still not enough, because in the first place you’re just not enough for him. That’s how life is. We cannot demand. We cannot ask.

6.) GOLD - we want to be treasured for the rest of our lives by our partners. We want our partner to fight for us just like how they fight for their lives and just like how they protect their most treasured sports car or their most valued collection. We want to be protected just like a gold protected by an army. unfortunately, some men are not man enough to fight for us, some men are too good or too soft they can’t even fight for themselves. 

This is the real world. 

We cannot demand.  We cannot ask

There’s no bird singing, no dwarfs that will accompany you,  no witch that will let you sleep for hundreds of years, no glass shoes that you can wear and no prince charming that can fight a dragon and can climb on your long hair.

This is NO FAIRYTALE. This is real life, you can’t always expect that someone is going to be there for you. Only few people experience “happily ever after”. There’s no ideal guy and you can never expect someone to treat you or love you the way you want it. No matter how hard it is, you’ll have to accept that fact. How to overcome those facts that disappoints you depends on you and ONLY YOU.

EXPECT LITTLE and GAIN MORE.

Remember:  You are not a princess in any fairytales or books, you’re just a human being just like me. I know I am not perfect just like any other girls. I expect. I nag. Actually, I have expected a lot of things from people around me that’s why i’ve been disapponted a lot of times and I still am expecting a lot of things that’s why i keep on hurting myself. But, I am doing my best to change myself and I know I am just an average joe trying hard to live as a princess and an ordinary girl who is inlove with an ordinary guy.

taLk about Leadership huh?

About a week ago, i had a chance to talk with one of my bosses and he told me about leadership and about leaders.

he asked me “to be a leader you should know..?”

then i answered.. “how to follow?” hahah i said that because i believe that a good leader is a good follower and before leaders became leaders, they were once, followers.

anyhow,

I laughed at myself after hearing what he said..

“No, that’s not it.. to be a leader you should know or you should have self confidence..”

then i said..

“ahh.. ok. haha”

he also told me that they chose those leaders because they know that there’s something in them or they have the quality of a leader and they are chosen not because they just want to choose them. I was listening carefully in every words he used and everything he said, i had lots of opinion to share, lots of comments about “those leaders” he was talking about but i’m not good at speaking, explaining and debating with what my boss’ believes although he was right, I have forgotten to tell him  that sometimes, people make mistakes

We, sometimes make mistakes.

Just like, how  we choose who to love, where to work and sometimes… how we choose our leaders.

Sometimes the one we love so much, we trusted 100% and the person to whom we have given our all turned out to be the wrong one, and sometimes we choose to work in some place because the environment is good and friendly, and the salary that we get is enough for us but it doesn’t make us happy. Although there are lots of good stuff there are also downside to everything. 

And how many times did we fail to choose good leaders? - People power started when people of our country realized that they were wrong when they chose “those leaders” and it only proved one thing, that we chose leaders because of what we think they can do because of their confidence, fame, power, wealth and wit but it doesn’t mean that they can be “good leaders”.

 Being smart or being witty does not prove that you can be a good leader. Confidence, wealth and power doesn’t also prove that you can be an effective leader.

A “leader” is far different from a “good or effective leader”.

Is it necessary for a leader to ask his employee who is sick to go to work or work from home? while letting the other employee file a leave because he’s going to take care of his sick uncle?. Is he the only one who can take care of his sick uncle?

If there’s an obvious mistake about one of your employee’s work, it is necessary for a leader to ask that employee to correct it, but if you ask another employee to correct it just because the employee who did it might get mad, then that’s not being an effective leader. And is it an excuse if you’re going to tell me that the leader doesn’t want any arguments that’s why he did that?

Is it right if there are lots of work, and there are 4 employees in a team and you only asked the 3 to work while letting the other one do his own thing? then..one of the 3, asked to go out to buy some lunch and you didn’t let that person buy his lunch because he needs to rush his work, and instead you told that person to just let his colleagues buy food for him.

The problem is if the leader also asked the 4th person to do some work then that leader wouldn’t have to rush the 3 employee’s works and then the work would be equally divided and can be done easilly.

If there’s still an hour left before the working hours ended and an employee asked to leave early, would you permit him to leave? and if you did, then that would be fine, but if the same situation happened again but this time it’s a different employee who asked for permission and you did not let him leave, then that’s being unfair.

All the situations above did happen. The leaders in those situations were not the same, some of the employees were not the same except for the guy who would take care of his uncle, who had an obivous mistake, the 4th employee who did nothing and the employee who were granted to leave early.

The situations above showed one thing, that they were having..i don’t know  if it’s favoritism or fear, fear for that one person.

If you’re a master with four dogs and you can’t let all of them behave how they should then you don’t deserve to be their master and if you can’t make one barking dog quiet then you don’t deserve to be called his master,and he would never follow you because that dog chooses who to follow and he doesn’t see you as a person who should be followed and if you fear that dog or make him do everything he wants then that’s not being an effective leader, you’re just letting that dog believes that he does not need to follow any orders.

I may not be good in grammar, I may not be smart or witty, I may not have the qualities of a good leader and i don’t even know if I have pointed out here what I really want to say and if i have said it all clearly and correctly but one thing is for sure.

I am a follower and I know what a good leader is.

:)