yes, you have a choice!

do we reaLLy a choice? yes we do..

 it makes me mad whenever i hear someone bLaming others for having a miserabLe Life. it just doesn’t make any sense!

 i woke up 5 days ago hearing my 2 sisters and my mother fighting,

what can i do? my famiLy is a perfect exampLe of an imperfect famiLy.

 since my father died, we Lost our discipLinarian and my mother is reaLLy not good at it. i swear!

 our father was strict, he onLy aLLowed me to have a bf when i graduated from coLLege and got a job and because he’s not here anymore, our youngest who is onLy 16yrs oLd and in first yr coLLege is abusing her freedom.

she aLways go out and often stays in his bf’s house. she’s reaLLy cLose with her bf’s famiLy and they often ask her to stay in their house, her bf’s father even toLd her that he couLd be her father since she doesn’t have a father

 it was ok for us and we find it sweet for him to say that but my oLder sister and my mother think that our youngest is abusing us because we’re not strict and we aLLow her most of the time to stay there. and just 5days ago, again! my sister was with her bf and asked if she couLd stay there but my mom didn’t aLLow her and toLd her to come home. When she got home, they had a fight.. my oLder sister, my mom and our youngest.. then they started taLking about each other’s mistakes, fLaws and whatever.

 i was sLeeping that time, i woke up because they were reaLLY noisy, i have a very dramatic famiLy, you know!!?!  i was Like watching a soap opera and it makes me sick! REALLY

our youngest was bLaming our mother why she became a bad girL, because if you’re going to ask me, our youngest is reaLLy reaLLy deviLishLy mean. ahaha

then my mother was bLaming my Late father because she said that our father was reaLLy mean to her

then here comes my oLder sister, asking my mom to stop bLaming our father and stop taLking about him because he’s dead and then she bLames her..

i was watching them, because when i heard them i went straight to our kitchen to eat, i was hungry. i reaLLy hate stuffs and scenes Like this, i have too much drama in my Life and i don’t want to make a scene out of that. haha. i’m just a kind of person who doesn’t taLk much and doesn’t care especiaLLy whenever my father and my mother are throwing pLates or things to each  other (that was when my dad was stiLL aLive),

*fLashback*

whenever they do that, my oLder sister wiLL shout at them and wiLL ask them to stop, sometimes she wiLL be on our dad’s side because she’s a daddy’s girL, then our youngest wiLL keep on crying..

whiLe me?! i just mind my own business whiLe everyone is making a huge thing out of smaLL things. i just watch tv, surf the net or just do what i need to do, assignments, projects or anything. hehe

so right now, my dad is not with us anymore but there are stiLL chaos here in our home sweet hom. when i heard them bLaming each other, that’s the time that i shouted.

“ikaw ma, wag mo na nga sisihin si pa, waLa na si pa dito. wag mo na idamay! dinadamay mo pa ang waLa na!!, ikaw ate sinisisi mo c ma kung bakit ka masama sakin, ikaw bunso sinisisi mo si ma kung bakit ka naging demonyita, pwede ba waLang sisihan? waLa na Lang paki aLamanan para tapos ang usapan!! nanisi pa kayong Lahat ng ibang tao sa mga kagaguhan nyo!”

then they aLL kept quiet, my oLder sister Laughed and said whiLe smiLing, “kakatakot ka ah..” then waLked out and went to her room. hahaha. i guess, i shouted too Loud.

yeah, my oLder sister was reaLLy mean to me, i aLways ask myseLf what have i done to her to treat me Like a trash since we were a kid, and i can’t find an answer, because i didn’t do anything. she’s a year oLder yet we’re not cLose, our youngest is kinda deviLish but not onLy to me but to everyone of us. haha, haayyss..

weLL i am not teLLing that i’m an angeL but i think i just don’t care..hehe

i was thinking that time, they have a choice, each and every one of us have a choice. even if someone is mean to us we have a choice. we couLd be mean and we couLd be good, it depends on us, on how we handLe those kind of crap.

 you can be good even if everyone is bad, you can be bad even if everyone is good. you can be everything you want if you just want to so stop bLaming others.

my oLder sister was mean to me, she humiLiated me in front of peopLe in a Lot of ways, in a Lot of different occasions but i never did that to her, if ever i did that. that was onLy when we were in coLLege, she was humiLiating but it went back to her. it was karma, and i onLy shout at her whenever i feeL she’s too much and i’ve been stepped on too much. i was just fighting for myseLf but i never reaLLy did something that wouLd hurt her and humiLiate her in front of other peopLe.

i never fight back to anyone. because for me, i just don’t care just mind your own business, humiLiate me? sLap me? kick me? tease me? i don’t care. i’LL just fight if i think it’s too much.

when my mom sLapped my oLder sister, she sLapped her back.

i never did that.

so we reaLLy have a choice, stop bLaming other for being mean and miserabLe. we have a choice.

it was your choice to be mean. it was your choice to be bad. it was your choice to act Like a freak.

i had a choice, but never did i choose the other side.