crab mentality

as of now, i have no work..the chances of doing something is 0% haha. and the chances of doing anything is 100%, can’t think of anything to do so i decided to post..hehe. and today, let’s talk about anything under the sun.. let me think first.. hhmm..tik..tac..tic..tak..enough about my rantings, about my super dramatic LoveLife and Life.. hehehe.. then… hhmmwhat should we talk about?? what should i post??

ahh now i know, let’s talk about crab mentality, hehe.. have you ever experienced that? where in whatever you do, some person just won’t shut up and won’t stop pulling you down?, even if you’re doing nothing..you’re just in the corner.. eating, and not minding enyone..you just enjoy yourself and your friends but then, this someone, will come to you and saying things to make you feel bad and make himself feel better??, why do people like them exist?? and why do they have to be that way?? for that person nothing in you is good and beautiful.. for that person you’re nothing.. and because of how that person treats you, you’ll feel low, cheap, ugly and worthless..and if you already feel negative about yourself, that person won’t stop until you’re dead..it’s like, that person is slowly killing you by pulling you down..haaysss..what a life.. hehe. i said, enough of myself, but here i am..telling bout me..haha.. just y do some people want me down?? i don’t get it!!!

my life’s songs..

there are so many songs that you will hear over and over, sometimes you’ll hear it everyday, especially if it’s new and in demand..but there are songs that will stuck in your mind and heart especially if you can relate to this song or someone special or used to be special to you gave you and dedicated this song to you..and no matter how much you want to forget it, everytime you hear that song..you will remember everything, every heart aches and every scene in your life together with that someone..

 then, when that song ends..you will go back to reality, everything ended as well.. the first song of my life is more than words, i dedicated this song to my ex.. and the second one is to be with you by mr. big..this is my ex’s song for me.. when we were still together..

 then, the rest would be i’m yourz and when she cries (i dedicated these songs to my other ex), while you’re my inspiration and hate that i love you were the songs that my other ex, dedicated to me..when we were still together, he gave me a copy of you’re my inspiration and until now i can’t get over that song, although i am moving on, i can’t help but to cry and to be sad evertime i hear this song..and hate that i love you was the song that we listened to on the day that we broke up..and he said that, that song is for me..

now, these songs are part of me and my past, i still and will still remember everything, evertime i hear those songs.. every song, every hymn and every melody of those songs touched my heart and my life.. those songs are the only remembrance i have with my exes..and i’ll forever, treasure it..

those are the SONGS OF MY LIFE.. ^_^ 

sex and the city..

i don’t watch this show nor tried to watch it before, at first i thought that it’s only about sex as what the titLe says.. and about the city? who cares about the city? whatever that city is.. hahaha..so when sex and the city had a movie, i was curious.. then,i watched it..

wooaahh.. it was one of best movie i’ve seen, it was kinda x rated but it was mature and has a Lot of Lessons.. about Love, about women.. about maturity..it’s about middLe aged women who are suffering from Love, middLe-aged probLems..oh weLL, overaLL it’s just about women..then, just this morning, i was browsing channeLs on our tv and i happened to see one of the episodes..the episode was about souLmate and i Loved it more because of sarah’s roLe..(she’s a writer) and i’m a frustrated writer..haha. so we have something in common.. hehe, so she was taLking about souLmates that time, she said, peopLe have met a Lot of peopLe and wiLL meet more peopLe and eventuaLLy some of them wouLd have reLationships, and if that reLationship doesn’t work does that mean, that..that person is not your souLm8?, and your reaL souLmate is somewhere, maybe in the middLe of nowhere.. waiting for you??.. or is true that maybe..just maybe..our friends are our souLmates and there are just great nice guys that we wiLL meet and have fun with?? hmm..a nice thought huh!?!

i’m gLad i’m stiLL young, i don’t have to worry about the things they worry..Like being singLe, i stiLL have pLenty of years and time ahead of me..there’s no need to rush, but then i thought, what if time has passed, and i am the same age as them..maybe i’LL be frustrated as they are…to Live aLone without someone Loving you..yeah, you have friends, but the feeLing of Loving someone and being Loved by someone is different from a friend’sLove.. sooner or Later, aLL of us wiLL need someone who wiLL grow oLd with us..who wiLL accept us and waLk with us..untiL our skin is wrinkLed, our body is aching and we can’t get up from bed anymore..our voice has been muted and our ears has been deaf..we wiLL need someone who wiLL be with us tiLL that day comes.. someone who wiLL stand, waLk, run, crawL, cryand Laugh with us..someone who is worth sharing our Lives with.. 

i reaLized that Life is just Like schooL, every stage, every grading there are different chaLLenges.. different probLems that you have to soLve and different subjects that you have to pass in order to go on a higher LeveL.. in order to mature..at this stage of my Life, i’m thinking what more chaLLenges and probLems do i have to face?, i’ve Lost peopLe i treasured, my heart has been broken a Lot of times, i’ve quit and been fired from my work at the same time..and i’ve been penniLess since the day i was born.. haha, so what are the probLems that wouLd be a Lot harder than the things i’ve been through?? shouLdn’t i be stronger now!?! since i’ve been through a Lot of pain, what is waiting for me?? tomorrow, the day after tomorrow?? next week, next month??..  shouLd i think of this?? or just Live each day without worries??

now i’m askin my seLf, why am i not used to it? my gosh..i’ve been in pain my whoLe Life, i guess i was created with pain andi’m a big pain in the ass..haha, i guess there are things that we wiLL never be used to..even if you’re experiencing the same things everyday, i guess your heart and your body wiLL never be used to it..it’s Life..haha, it’s a cycLe of things..and sometimes a re-cycLe.. as in re-cycLe..haha

and as for the peopLe who think i’m stupid and dumb?? i’m just a girL who has a stubborn mind and heart..i wiLL never Learn..just never..haha..i can’t bLame my heart..i’m just being true to what i feeL.. but hey, i’m not the dumbest woman in the worLd..haha.. i just Love.. and i am sure it’s not being dumb but Loving beyond perfection.. ^_^

i don’t Love the “perfect guy”, because there are no such guy..i don’t even have an ideaL guy.. when i Love.. i Love no questions asked..and no one has the right to say that it’s stupidity.. it’s not..and how many times shouLd i teLL you.. IT’s just LOVE..