Let’s get serious about the world

I have never post about what’s happening in this world, it’s always about me, my love life, my family, my career life, my insights, it’s simply all about me.

I guess I think that we already have too much of what’s happening around us, in our world. We’ve been caught up too much by media, disasters, accidents and different issues. It makes us stress and sometimes, it drains our minds. It affects us too much that everything that’s happening around us, even the lives of celebrities became a part of our lives. I don’t want to be too drawn or too attached to the media and to those disasters or whatever misfortune of the world.

You see, it happens all the time. People die in disasters, calamities, sickness and even in poorness. People get killed by killers, robbers, murderers or by accidents. Those things do not stop. We have mourned to those people who have died and we will mourn to those people who will die! We have felt sorry and will felt sorry for them. It’s life.

But, for the first time I decided to give it some thought, some opinion and a little of my feelings.

I want to comment about the hostage taking that occured about two weeks ago. The whole world is mourning, NOT just the chinese, please put that in mind. I believe that there is kindness in every heart, after all, we are all human. Even those killers, assasins, rapist, psycho murderers and every criminal in this world. There is a spot there, where there is goodness, kindness and love. That’s what I believe in and will always believe in.

I am a pure blooded filipino and i’ve heard a lot of news about filipinos being killed especially in other countries where they serve. A nanny, a maid, a seller, etc. We’ve been hate, we’ve been discrimated and we’ve been loved (that’s the best part of it), despite of the other negative things, we’re still being loved by a lot of people and a lot of nationalities.

There’s also a lot of news about some chinese being a drug lord, selling drugs or distributing drugs all over the country, ruining people’s lives, there are also some chinese illegal smuggler, gambling lord and etc but I’m wondering why filipinos do not hate chinese? why filipinos do not discriminate chinese? Is there a filipino, who literally hates chinese? just because they are chinese or hates chinese because they are white and have small eyes? because some chinese hate filipinos just because they are filipinos and some hate us because of our skin color.

And i’m asking why, we’re being discriminated by MOST of the chinese people even from the start? and it got worse when this hostage taking occured. I heard and read a lot of bad things from different chinese people and never did i say a word.

Well, I guess it does not matter, whether you’re a chinese or a filipino, american or greek. This is not a matter of nationality, it is a matter of humanity. Jackie Chan is chinese and he said he does not hate,  he’s different from the other chinese people that i see.

But, as i have told you. It’s NOT about NATIONALITY, it is HUMANITY. So please STOP looking or seeing yourself as chinese people and see yourself as a human being without a nationality. Whether you’re a chinese, a filipino, an american or whatever. We are all different. We don’t think the same. We don’t act the same, even identical twins don’t think the same so why discriminate? Why hate all filipinos?

The police men have faults, the gorvernment and also the media. It has happened. Everything is unpredictable, we cannot tell what will happen next. Some people say that the police men should have done this, that or whateverbut we’re still not sure if that’s effective. The styles that police men have used before in a hostage taking drama might have succeeded alot of times in different cases and in different people but we’re still not sure if it will succeed this time. Life and people are unpredictable so I think we just have to stop blaming and hating.

I do live in the Philippines, I have a fair skin and big eyes. Philippines is a tropical country. That’s the only difference between us and chinese people. I can say that I am a pure blooded filipino but when it comes to traditions I might not be pure because I do not believe or like some of the filipino attitude or beliefs or culture but I can say I am human.

So I would like to say that

I AM NOT A FILIPINO,

I AM HUMAN.

The Answers. :)

Some people have told me that I’m nonsense, that I don’t have opinions, that I don’t answer their questions with the right answer, like i am stupid and have no thinking capacity. hahaha LOL. Well, that’s funny I am very opinionated. I just don’t like talking. haha 

Well, I don’t know why but I don’t talk that much. I talk a lot in my blogs but I don’t talk that much in person. You see, I am not open, it’s really hard for me to open up even when it comes to opinions. I don’t know maybe I just don’t like sharing or maybe I just don’t want to give my opinions to the people I am with or I am talking to. Sometimes people ask me, which is better, what is good or what is whatever or what do I think of something and these are my answers. 

 *I don’t know

 *Sakto lang / Just right / average

 *Kung san ka masaya / it’s your choice / whatever makes you happy /

and sometimes I just go blank and say, “uuhh..ok lang” haha but most of the time I answer “whatever makes you happy”.

For me, that would be my best opinion to everything, sometimes it may sound nonsense but I put a lot of meaning to it and it really has a lot of meaning. I know they ask me because they want or they need other people’s opinion so they can sum it up and then they can decide.

But the reason I say that is because at the end of the conversation, whether you’re going to choose between 2 dresses, 2 shoes or whatever, it’s your decision that matters. You’ll choose whatever makes you comfortoble and what will make you happy

When it comes to decision making, especially if it’s for yourself, it’s always YOU that matters and that’s FOR REAL you may disagree on this one, maybe not all the time but 90%, IT’s ALL ABOUT YOU.

Here’s a situation. Someone asked me before if I’m going to get mad at him if ever he decided to have a girlfriend. Well, we’re kind of MU / mutual understanding and we’re both special with each other but I thought that time. He is not my boyfriend and I have no right to get mad at him, so why should I be mad?, I told him it’s OK, it doesn’t matter and whatever makes you happy, go for it. 

I won’t get mad, that’s for sure because getting mad just means being selfish, right? and if I get mad, it’s like I’m stopping him from being happy and he  won’t be trully happy if he knows someone is mad at him. So definitely, I won’t get mad. I won’t.

BUT…

I don’t know what I’m going to feel.

I don’t want to oppose to anyone and I don’t want to stop someone from doing or from choosing what he really wants. I don’t want to be the reason of the other people’s suffering that’s why I always say “kung san ka magiging masaya / whatever makes you happy”.

Maybe we have shared a lot of times together, maybe we’re both special but if it’s him deciding to have a girlfriend or to find another girl then I’m out of it. I’m out of the picture, why would he need my opinion? If you already found a girl you like you would go for it, right? So why ask me if it’s alright? It’s always YOU that matters.

Yes, it’s you. I don’t matter but I do care.

I won’t get mad but I’ll feel something…

I just don’t know what it is.

:)

Lost soul

it’s been a while, i miss blogging. i miss writing. i miss a lot of things. i even miss crying.

I wanted to cry a long time ago, but i can’t i don’t know why but i just can’t  cry. I want to cry because of a lot of reasons. My soul is lost right now, I may sound too emotional but no one knows what I really feel. I’ts just hard when you have no one else to talk to aside from your blogs because you are protecting yourself from all the possible heart aches and pains if you choose to open up your heart.

Have you ever felt that you are alone? Because I feel alone right now, I know I am not perfect, I have sins and I have plenty of it, I make mistakes and sometimes I really make a lot of it but just maybe, maybe I am feeling this way because I have made the greatest mistake and sin of my life. Something I thought I would never do, something I thought too impossible for me to do but I did it and it hurts a lot. It hurts because I hurt someone. It hurts because I lied. It hurts because I fooled a lot of people. It hurts because I promise myself not to hurt anyone. It hurts because my motto is “its better to get hurt than to hurt someone” and most of all it hurts because it just hurts. T_T

And now I’m hurting because I can’t let everything out, all these feelings. I can’t let it out and it’s killing me already. I am not free. I’m a prisoner of myself.

I AM LOST

what a girl wants. reality mishaps

I arrived late at the office because I was expecting a day with few tasks and I was right. Only few tasks came in and after net surfing and reading blogs from different people I decided to write my own, hahaha. I guess, one blogger inspired me to write about something about US… GIRLS.

After having a long journey of 22 years in life, and falling in love with some guys and getting hurt. I have come to realized that almost all girls have same needs, emotionally. And now, I have learned what I want and what I need but there are just things in life that WE CAN  NEVER HAVE. I will list down the things that I want  that I think most of us(men/women) also need.

 I want to be or be the..

1.) PRIORITY - all or at least almost all girls want to be their lover’s top priority unfortunately it’s not gonna happen, it will never happen, UNLESS your guy is one of a kind. We cannot demand. We cannot ask.   

2.) QUEEN/PRINCESS - we all want to be someone’s princess/queen of course by our prince charming. We want to be pampered. We want to feel loved, secured and being taken cared of. We want our man to treat us the way we want to be treated. We want them to ALWAYS assure us how they love us, if they can shout out to the world how much they love us then they should do it. To those girls who love material things, they want to their man to give them accessories, jewelries, or anything while those girls who only want their partner’s affection, they want to be showered with love. We want them to bring us to a place called paradise.

(**NOTE**: but not too much of course)

  unfortunately, only a few man can do it. Some are just plain guys who love to chill and relax, while other guys are so shy they can’t even tell the girls what they feel and while some guys show rudeness and coldness to their gf/wife despite of their feelings, no matter how much they love them. They can’t give or show any affection just because they can’t show it or sometimes, they just don’t want to show it. That’s how it is, we cannot demand. We cannot ask.

3.) PRIEST - maybe you’re asking why priest? Oh well, I mean.. a priest in a confession room. Haha. We want our guys to confess to us everything they did, every lies, every sin, every mistakes. We want them to be totally honest with us even if it will hurt us, that’s the sad part. We want them to be honest yet after confessing their sins we’re going to cry and get mad at them but we still want them to be honest despite of how it will affect us, right?!.

  unfortunately, THEY CAN NEVER BE TOO HONEST.

We cannot demand. We cannot ask.

4.) PARTNER IN CRIME - almost all of us want to be our partners’ partner in crime. Some of us love adventures and most of us dream of going in different places and doing new things. We want our guy to be with us while we’re making the best adventures of our lives and we want to be with them when they are happy, when they are sad, when they want some fun, when they want to act crazy and freak and when they just want to sit and relax. We want them to date us or ask us to go to anywhere under the sun.

  unfortunately, not everyone wants the same adventure that you dream of. Some are not into dating, some doesn’t have enough money for a date while some prefer to be with their friends in their adventures than being with their gf/bf. We cannot demand. We cannot ask.

(*NOTE: thanks to my teammate for helping me with this, it’s also one of her dreams. haha)

5.) APPRECIATED - who doesn’t want to? right!?! Each and everyone of us wants to be appreciated. We want to feel that we’re valued by our special someone. We want to hear and feel that they know how much we love them and that they appreciate every little things that we do for them. We want to hear “thank you” once in a while. We also want them to support us and be proud of us whenever we do things that make us proud of ourselves. We want them to see how good we are. unfortunately, not everyone can appreciate you, sometimes they will ignore you, sometimes they will say “you’re so great” in a sarcastic way and they will say thank you, once in a blue moon. Some men, will appreciate you without showing it, if you give them something they’ll say, ok. Sometimes they’ll ask “what’s this?”, then you’ll answer him, “gift from me..??”, then he’ll say.. “uuhhh.. ok”. For him, that’s his way of saying thank you, but still it doesn’t show. While some men don’t appreciate anything and everything you do is still not enough, because in the first place you’re just not enough for him. That’s how life is. We cannot demand. We cannot ask.

6.) GOLD - we want to be treasured for the rest of our lives by our partners. We want our partner to fight for us just like how they fight for their lives and just like how they protect their most treasured sports car or their most valued collection. We want to be protected just like a gold protected by an army. unfortunately, some men are not man enough to fight for us, some men are too good or too soft they can’t even fight for themselves. 

This is the real world. 

We cannot demand.  We cannot ask

There’s no bird singing, no dwarfs that will accompany you,  no witch that will let you sleep for hundreds of years, no glass shoes that you can wear and no prince charming that can fight a dragon and can climb on your long hair.

This is NO FAIRYTALE. This is real life, you can’t always expect that someone is going to be there for you. Only few people experience “happily ever after”. There’s no ideal guy and you can never expect someone to treat you or love you the way you want it. No matter how hard it is, you’ll have to accept that fact. How to overcome those facts that disappoints you depends on you and ONLY YOU.

EXPECT LITTLE and GAIN MORE.

Remember:  You are not a princess in any fairytales or books, you’re just a human being just like me. I know I am not perfect just like any other girls. I expect. I nag. Actually, I have expected a lot of things from people around me that’s why i’ve been disapponted a lot of times and I still am expecting a lot of things that’s why i keep on hurting myself. But, I am doing my best to change myself and I know I am just an average joe trying hard to live as a princess and an ordinary girl who is inlove with an ordinary guy.

taLk about Leadership huh?

About a week ago, i had a chance to talk with one of my bosses and he told me about leadership and about leaders.

he asked me “to be a leader you should know..?”

then i answered.. “how to follow?” hahah i said that because i believe that a good leader is a good follower and before leaders became leaders, they were once, followers.

anyhow,

I laughed at myself after hearing what he said..

“No, that’s not it.. to be a leader you should know or you should have self confidence..”

then i said..

“ahh.. ok. haha”

he also told me that they chose those leaders because they know that there’s something in them or they have the quality of a leader and they are chosen not because they just want to choose them. I was listening carefully in every words he used and everything he said, i had lots of opinion to share, lots of comments about “those leaders” he was talking about but i’m not good at speaking, explaining and debating with what my boss’ believes although he was right, I have forgotten to tell him  that sometimes, people make mistakes

We, sometimes make mistakes.

Just like, how  we choose who to love, where to work and sometimes… how we choose our leaders.

Sometimes the one we love so much, we trusted 100% and the person to whom we have given our all turned out to be the wrong one, and sometimes we choose to work in some place because the environment is good and friendly, and the salary that we get is enough for us but it doesn’t make us happy. Although there are lots of good stuff there are also downside to everything. 

And how many times did we fail to choose good leaders? - People power started when people of our country realized that they were wrong when they chose “those leaders” and it only proved one thing, that we chose leaders because of what we think they can do because of their confidence, fame, power, wealth and wit but it doesn’t mean that they can be “good leaders”.

 Being smart or being witty does not prove that you can be a good leader. Confidence, wealth and power doesn’t also prove that you can be an effective leader.

A “leader” is far different from a “good or effective leader”.

Is it necessary for a leader to ask his employee who is sick to go to work or work from home? while letting the other employee file a leave because he’s going to take care of his sick uncle?. Is he the only one who can take care of his sick uncle?

If there’s an obvious mistake about one of your employee’s work, it is necessary for a leader to ask that employee to correct it, but if you ask another employee to correct it just because the employee who did it might get mad, then that’s not being an effective leader. And is it an excuse if you’re going to tell me that the leader doesn’t want any arguments that’s why he did that?

Is it right if there are lots of work, and there are 4 employees in a team and you only asked the 3 to work while letting the other one do his own thing? then..one of the 3, asked to go out to buy some lunch and you didn’t let that person buy his lunch because he needs to rush his work, and instead you told that person to just let his colleagues buy food for him.

The problem is if the leader also asked the 4th person to do some work then that leader wouldn’t have to rush the 3 employee’s works and then the work would be equally divided and can be done easilly.

If there’s still an hour left before the working hours ended and an employee asked to leave early, would you permit him to leave? and if you did, then that would be fine, but if the same situation happened again but this time it’s a different employee who asked for permission and you did not let him leave, then that’s being unfair.

All the situations above did happen. The leaders in those situations were not the same, some of the employees were not the same except for the guy who would take care of his uncle, who had an obivous mistake, the 4th employee who did nothing and the employee who were granted to leave early.

The situations above showed one thing, that they were having..i don’t know  if it’s favoritism or fear, fear for that one person.

If you’re a master with four dogs and you can’t let all of them behave how they should then you don’t deserve to be their master and if you can’t make one barking dog quiet then you don’t deserve to be called his master,and he would never follow you because that dog chooses who to follow and he doesn’t see you as a person who should be followed and if you fear that dog or make him do everything he wants then that’s not being an effective leader, you’re just letting that dog believes that he does not need to follow any orders.

I may not be good in grammar, I may not be smart or witty, I may not have the qualities of a good leader and i don’t even know if I have pointed out here what I really want to say and if i have said it all clearly and correctly but one thing is for sure.

I am a follower and I know what a good leader is.

:)